Free Thinking Journaling by Cassandra – 2

I’ve always had a system with my writing. It was not (I stress, WAS not) a very efficient system and it actually goes against the advice of many prolific writers. I was not aware of that until recently, when I decided to learn from those who know. After hearing and being told numerous times to “just write,” to draft without edits, to let the words flow freely and then later go back and edit and make changes, I finally decided to give that method a try.

It is literally the exact opposite of what I am used to. So, taking the thoughts and typing them, then immediately continuing on… that was/is difficult. Here’s another area that I’m a work in progress.

I guess sometimes you think you have a process and plan, until you find there’s a better one, and it’s time to make a shift.

I’m all about positive shifts and learning and growing, so I’m tackling this challenge head on.

I want to form good writing habits, so the first habit to break is to read over each sentence numerous times before continuing on. Editing, rationalizing, contemplating its strength and meaning.

Oh, but the spelling. I still typo a lot when I write, so I do hit the backspace key when needed.

I just realized that the way I’ve written is the way I’ve lived my life for so many years.

Contemplating every move, afraid to make decisions, looking back at each line or paragraph, debating if it’s right, what could have been, if it’s leading the right way.

I thought that the overanalytical method to my writing was based on growing up writing rhymes. Over the years, about 90% of the time that I wrote (other than school assignments or work) was poetry, usually in rhyming form. With poetry, especially rhyme, it makes sense to look closely at the words before typing them onto the page or writing them down. Each word matters in poetry. They have a life of their own, and come together to make something beautiful.

In other types of writing, it is the way the words come together that creates the beauty, not so much the individual words or the way they sound as separate forces.

Perhaps that’s where the writing habit stems.

My constant anxiety over life, the feeling of over-analyzation and worry, played into my writing. A habit, and not a good one.

It’s refreshing to remember that habits can be broken and not all habits are bad. Break the bad ones, reform them, or recycle them! And create new ones.

Writing will still be writing, just change to a new method, a new approach. It opens new doors and possibilities.

It is not easy to refrain from going back and reading what I’ve written. I’m an editing and re-reading addict. Time to conquer the addiction.

So far this new method has worked well. I’m getting a substantial word count. My mind feels as though it’s working smoothly or at least much more smoothly than it used to.

I will continue the slow thoughtful process when it comes to writing poetry, it’s been tried and true for me as a writer. When it comes to writing anything and everything else however, this will be my method now, and we’ll see how that goes.

I understand that life is not a draft. There’s no complete do-over. Now just to differentiate that writing is not life. Each story is life. Life for a writer is writing. But writing itself is not life. You can change and mold each circumstance, each outcome, each word at your heart’s content.

We as writers, are powerful.

We are magic.

In my mindfulness journal, I opened up a page…

(I just went to type journal, and typed journey. This is interesting!)

I was about to say that the page said to express how I am feeling right now, then I “mis-typed” that. Well, that just set the stage for the day and what I am about to write.

I love the word Journey. And now I realize that I love how much it sounds like Journal. Those two things coincide greatly, especially for a writer like me.

So how am I feeling right now?

Enlightened. Empowered. Determined. A bit scared.

I know I’m taking on a lot, in comparison to my past endeavors. But it’s time. It’s MY time.

I am also excited. This journey is one with some many milestones to celebrate, and now that I am mindful and aware of this, I can soak up the beauty and awesomeness that is life.

I can rise above. I can tell myself to stare my ego in the eye (mirror!) and say “Hey, I’m in charge here!”

This is MY journey.

It is unique, exciting, sometimes messy, often covered in glitter. It is humorous, heartfelt, it includes tears and laughter. It gets loud, it’s pretty, and at times it’s hard to handle.

We each have our own journeys. Which is why no two journals will ever look alike.

Which is why we all have a story to tell, that is unlike ANY other.

I feel like I will move mountains. And by mountains, I mean the mindset of those who are strong and stuck. A mountain that reaches high, and stays static, desperately wanting to achieve greatness.

I know there are mountains out there that need inspiration. That will move forward, grow, thrive.

I feel that I need to tap into my intellect, boost my mind, body and spirit to live up to my greatest potential so that I can shine, be a role model to my beautiful children, and create an amazing life of love, adventure, experience, and happiness for our family, and motivate others to do the same.

Journaling the journey. Why is this something I haven’t done until now?

Because I’m right where I need to be? Because it’s time.

How else do I feel right now? Tired. Alive. Inspired.

I feel happy to be me. The future begins today.

How do you feel? How can you improve?

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